(This is a guest feature post written by a young male friend who wishes to remain anonymous)
WE
HEAR IT all the time: “Young men are in crisis.”
What we hear far less is the
question that should naturally follow: “Which
young men?"
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| A boy needs bearing up right, even when the world feels upside down |
Not all young men are in crisis. There are
specific bodies of young men who are in crisis. They may vary in color,
religious persuasion and even socio-economic placement. Yet, certain definable
factors have prevailed to land them all in the same crisis-boat.
If we could spend a few hours simply,
directly, unflinchingly talking to these young men, perhaps we could find out
what it feels like to actually be the person under discussion. After all, it
must be very different to hear talk of “young men in crisis” as a senior
citizen, a middle-aged entrepreneur, a teenage girl, or a male student getting
along nicely at university, with the support of a functional family.
Common ground runaround
Common ground runaround
We could ask the young men themselves how
they feel when people assert they are in that crisis-boat simply because they choose to be; then ask how they feel when
those self-same people are the ones given responsibility to come up with “solutions”
to (not for , mind you) young men in crisis.
We could ask what they think about these
“experts.” Do they respect them? Do they trust them? Do they feel there is any
common ground? Do they believe a word these experts say? Do they even want to hear
to them?
Or do the young men wish there were people
among the lot who could actually relate to them, understand their situation;
truly empathize with their lives and, as a result, honestly care about their
safety and well-being, reconciliation and advancement.
I’m a young man. Most people looking in at
me cannot see the crises I’ve faced; how different my life could have been. I,
too, could have ended us as one of these labeled young men.
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| Sometimes that shadowed feeling |
I am still at risk: in my love-life, work-life, social interaction, ambition, and the rest.
My life involves constant vigilance,
self-exploration, fortitude, patience, many, many deep breaths and more to stay
on the non-crisis path. Is it that I heed the voice of reason? No. The voice of
care is what makes the difference.
There is that voice that tells me to
continue to care when other voices, internal and external, push me to not care
at all, ever again.
I think we all need to hear a voice of care
speaking to us. For some there is a need to hear
that voice from outside until it learns to be able to speak clearly enough from
within.
That’s why I try for my voice to be one of
care to all the brothers out there in whose shoes I have walked. And still
walk.
My voice reaches out, as well, to every
soul alive who reads this. I invite you to also walk in the shoes of these
young men. My hope is that perhaps you, too, will hear the voice of care inside
yourself and speak in that voice to them … until they can speak with it, too.
When we all can hear that voice, together
we will take anyone, everyone out of crisis.
I
believe.
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| What hath hands wroth? |
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